Sunday, June 27, 2010


My barber was quite emphatic in his observation, “This seems to be the season of Recycles: TV shows like “Hawaii Five-O”; Movies like “The Karate Kid”; and Philippine Political Dynasties like the Aquino and the Marcos families.”

Then he thought with my tacit agreement that for the benefit of the new generation of Filipino voters, he should also recycle the jokes that he used to tell and hear in his barbershop during the Martial Law years.


My barber heard this story in the barbershop years ago. He thinks it was untrue but it spread all over the Philippines anyway.
“After coming back from schooling in London, Bongbong Marcos wanted to to open his own business. So, he looked around and noticed that FLORO FOTO, a photography business owned by Floro, was doing quite well. Since he was always interested in photography anyway, he decided to open one. It was named FOTO BONGBONG. When Imelda heard about it, she was envious and insisted on opening one herself. She didn’t know what she would call it, so asked for suggestions. One of the suggested names was FOTO NG INA NI BONGBONG.”


“Doctor,” said the patient, “do you remember you told me to go out with Imelda’s Jet Set girls so I could get away from business?”
“Yes, I do,” the doc replied.
“Well,” said the patient, “now will you help me get back my business?”


How do you describe a Filipino politician?
My barber: “He is a guy who shakes your hand before an election and your confidence afterward.”


My barber says that life in the Philippines is so terrible that people have to borrow continuously to feed themselves. His friend made this comment: “Running into debt isn’t so bad – it’s running into creditors that hurt.”


“Time separates the best of friends,” said one Imelda Blue Lady to another.
“How true,” replied the other. “Twenty years ago we were both fifteen, now I’m thirty-five and you’re twenty-nine!”


According to my barber, Marcos always consults his soothsayer. He says that Marcos called his soothsayer once to find out when he is going to die. The soothsayer said that it's going to be on a Muslim holiday.
"Which one?" Marcos asked.
"I do not know," the soothsayer said.
"You must know," shouted Marcos angrily. "I insist upon the truth."
"I do not know," persisted the soothsayer, "because any day you die will be a Muslim holiday in the Philippines."

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